Well I did it .. I survived live TV!!
I am not going to pretend I wasn't awkward, I was. I did a whole lot of weird things with my hands and said sentences that really didn't get finished. I even lost my footing on my machine once when walking and talking. BUT it all must have resonated with viewers because WE SOLD OUT and everyone I got the chance to meet at The Shopping Channel was so excited about how it went and how I did. Which, wow, is so crazy.
Going into this I was nervous, really nervous. If you don't personally know me, you probably don't know that I am a huge worrier, and not about the weather or things breaking but a worrier about people's thoughts and feelings (truthfully it drives my husband crazy). I like to know how people are feeling at almost all times... I'll read emotions in texts & emails and worry that someone meant something they didn't or maybe were sad when they weren't. I pretty much just like everyone to always be happy.
So going into my first show I was worried if everyone would be happy. Would The Shopping Channel producers be pleased with what I say, would they think I look ok? Would the viewers like me, would they understand and like me and my story? And would everyone at Flaman be happy? So walking out from my dressing room down the hallway before my first show, I literally told myself:
'Well here's hoping they like awkward because I am just going to be myself.'
And I did.
The first hour honestly went by so fast that I couldn't even tell you what I said, it was all kind of a blur. I was trying to figure out smiling and nodding at the host and looking into one of the three cameras and listening to my ear piece all at the same time. On top of that, I was trying not to stare at the screen that they have facing us with what the viewers see. After the first show my nerves were instantly calmed when I got back into my dressing room. The 'buyer' of The Shopping Chanel knocked on my door and gave me a hug and told me she was so excited with how it went and that I was doing great. Hearing that, from her, made me feel so much better. Then I went and turned on my phone and had SO many messages. All my family and friends who watched the show and were so supportive... it really meant more than I can put into words. That love from them didn't stop just after that show either, it was really an all day thing and the amount of love that I felt that day from people I have in my life truly made my heart feel so full. I really am blessed.
The second show seemed like a breeze, I felt most comfortable in that show. I got to change into a tank top after my wrist tattoos were covered with makeup so even just that made me feel more comfortable.
If you're wondering, The Shopping Channel's policy is no tattoos shown, which really didn't bother me; I can understand how some people may find that weird or perhaps even offensive. For me I just know how my mom feels about tattoos (which is basically they are silly) so it wasn't a big deal to me. My tattoos are all meaningful to me, but it doesn't mean that they are for everyone. It did make me laugh because I have 8 but they are all pretty small so I never thought anything of it - My wedding date and Penn's birthday in Roman numerals on my wrists, an arrow for loosing weight, a viking symbol for luck because well, I need all the luck I can get, Penn's name on my shoulder, a Mickey symbol on my rib because I am never growing up, a phrase on my neck about being myself and three stars on my foot I got with my best friend when I was 17.
Then, by the last show we were almost sold out so they moved my time from an hour to 30 minutes.. .but then in that show we sold out in less then 20 so we had to end the show early, which really was so amazing.
So did I love it? What did I take away from it?
Heres what I learnt:
-I say absolutely a lot. Like not just occasionally but almost to an annoying amount. So absolutely buy a Treadclimber ha
-I do a weird laugh after almost all my sentences.
-A Tide to go pen is a must for me... I spilled coffee on my long sleeve 45 minutes before my first show, but luckily with that and some water and a blow dryer I was able to get it out
-Shorts are not for tv... I took a picture in the dressing room before my first show and was like 'ok this looks ok'... no. The camera is not friendly to shorts and in my opinion made my size 6 legs look unflattering. The model after was joking with me and said 'ya pants are just always best, shorts can make anyone look bigger' So tips for anyone else, pants are the way to go.
Truthfully, it was just such a great day that I am so glad I got to experience. It really showed me how many amazing people I have in my life by all their support. It showed me that not only can weight loss and getting healthy make you feel better about yourself but it really can change your life. A year ago today I was seeing myself on Bowflex's website for the first time…and now a year later having done all the things I have done, who knows what is next? I am not saying everyone is going to have a crazy story like I do but when you feel better about yourself and have the confidence to do new things, really anything can happen!
Having people tell me that my story inspired them to order a machine or change their habits…there are no words for that. It makes me feel so humbled and honoured. I really am an average person who didn't care about the size I would get to or if I could wear a bikini or not, I just wanted to feel better and for my son to never see me not be able to do the small things.
And for the amount of people that day who decided to make the investment in themselves and order a machine from watching the show just makes me feel excited for them because now their journey gets to start. It's not always easy to start but when you do, and you see those changes in yourself, nothing can stop you!