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Standing Back Up

First off my coach amazes me. She flies all night and then drives to make it in time for my weigh in and lifting. In between all of this, she is texting and emailing me through my water cut and making sure I have all the support I need. She goes above and beyond. This is something I have extreme gratitude for.

I was able to do the water cut and make weight with no issues. My body weight this last while is finally starting to cooperate post op. I felt fairly calm going in to competition, which was a bit strange considering it had been a while. There was a small amount of nerves, but nothing over the top. This was about me standing back up.

Before I left, I had someone tell me I do not try hard enough. Well this is one of the things I do, for me. Four months after surgery I needed to get back up. Everything I do in life involves my whole heart. My family, my work, and if you watched my squat and deadlifts, you can tell I pour it into my lifting.

Squat opener was good, second squat was tough. I didn't quite make it. I readjusted the position of the bar. Third squat I refused to fail. I pushed through it and made the squat. It took all I had at that moment, but I was only 0.5 kg of my IBSA record. This was good!!! The surgeon had told me that it can take 6 months to 2 years to feel normal and get rid of the fatigue. For an athlete 6 months, I'm almost there! I am holding on to that 6 months mark because I want my recovery time back. But to be able to get out there was amazing. To have most of my strength, even more amazing.

Bench went well for the first 2 attempts missed my 3rd after the table missed me, but this left me exactly as strong as before. Heading into deads, the nerves kicked in a bit. Deadlifts is where things may get tough due to any weakness in the core. My first 2 attempts were successful, no pain. My 3rd attempt, a weight that I have never lifted is put in. This would have given me 2 personal bests. I almost make it. So close, that next time I know the strength will be there. After this lift, my legs were done and my body was done. I am looking forward to that recovery being there next time. But I was able to get out there and say I stood up when so many said after major surgery you will not lift. I lifted, and I will continue to lift.

For me to stand on my own two feet, just for me, is the best feeling in the world. This is recovery. This is coming back. 'Can't' was never an option here. When I went in for surgery my husband said nationals might not be a possibility, I told him to let me believe. So he did and with a great support team and a heck of a lot of determination we made it happen.

I came home to recover. I also knew I faced more vision tests. The results were not good, but you live the hand you are dealt. I will not let it hinder my life or my lifting. Back to adapting. This will always be for me and standing my own ground. It is time to tweak what needs tweaking, fix anything evident and move on. A bit more lower ab training perhaps some more nutrition work in the next while.

I am blessed to be back and very excited to see what will come in July as I continue to get stronger, registration has been submitted for North Americans. Training begins Monday. I have learned above all, I am a fighter. I fight for me, to stand my ground and on my own feet. Change or no change, whatever obstacles have come in my path you cannot let things or people push you down. You got to stand back up.